Pudding Fight!
by Wolf McCloud-123
Summary: You know, I've always wondered what it would be like if the girls of Shaman King got into a fight... And boy, is it ever stupid. A parody of the Budweiser Super Bowl commercial.


Pudding Fight!

A/N: Catfight, more like it... Anna confronts all the women/girls living in the Asakura household... and all Hell breaks loose.

Rating: PG -- This fic includes some girly violence, which isn't deserving of PG-13.

Genre: Humor/Parody -- Beer causes insperation.

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Anna, watching Yoh fall over lifting some weights (what a wussy), smirked at her obvious power over him. It's not like she WANTED it; she just demanded it from him every waking moment of every day.

Now, one would probably think that this would get kinda boring... But one would also have to realize that Anna's sense of humor (if she has any) is very different from oneself.

"But Annaaaaaaa!" moaned Yoh, making an emphesis on the last letter of Anna's name. Oh, how cute.

"It huuuuurts!"

"I don't care if it burns with the pain of one thousand hot white suns; just lift," she snapped in that Anna-esque way, not really yelling and not really not yelling at the same time.

"C'mon, buddy!" said Manta enthusiastically. "No pain, no gain! You wanna become Shaman King, after all, right?"

"...Yes..." said Yoh sheepishly. "But... The paaaaaaaiin, Manta! You don't know what it's like!"

"And he probably doesn't want to find out," said Anna, picking up a book. "So I suggest you pick up the pace before the others do."

"Tch... I bet the others' sisters don't push them... And Tamao doesn't talk to me much anymore... It's all because of Anna..." complained Yoh.

Anna's head snapped up. Had she just heard what she thought she heard? No. Impossible. Yoh was HER'S. No matter how much she pushed him, no matter it seemed she hated him, she did love him. And wasn't that what counted?

Of course, since Miss 'Dark and Angsty' is so negative, Yoh doesn't seem to realize this. And he probably never will, until their actual wedding. And even that seems pretty unlikely.

Heaving herself up, she stomped her way to the nearest girl she could find. Fortunately, it happened to be Pirika, hitting HoroHoro over the head with a chair.

"You! Kitchen! Now!" commanded Anna, pointing from Pirika to the kitchen.

She then left Pirika to shrug, drop the chair on her brother's head, and skip off to the kitchen.

Anna cornered the next girl, Jun. Good. I've always wanted to see them fight.

"Kitchen, zombie girl!" shouted Anna.

Jun gave Anna an odd look, then walked to the kitchen.

Last but not least, she found Tamao.

"Oh, hello, Anna-chan," smiled Tamao. "How is your day goin--"

"Enough of the small talk; kitchen."

"What?"

Anna rolled her eyes. "The kitchen. Go to the kitchen."

To hurry Tamao up, she gave the pink-haired one a swift kick to the butt. "Go! Now!"

-The kitchen-

The pair of Pirika and Jun stood and waited for Anna, not sure why the itako had sent them there in the first place. Maybe she was finally upholding her death-threats? Oh, crap, that wasn't good.

Tamao soon walked in, followed by Anna, who looked madder than an otter in a barrel of pickles. Wait, what?

Anywho, Anna threw the door of the room shut, glaring at the three of them.

"All right, what have you been doing to my Yoh?" she said, pretty much without thinking before she spoke. "Spill it; you've been--"

"Whoa, hold the phone!" said Pirika. "We... Well, as far as I know, I haven't been doing anything to Yoh. I've just been hitting my idiot brother to make him Shaman King."

"And I've been hitting MY idiot brother to make HIM Shaman King," said Jun.

"And I haven't been included in many stories, due to the lack of popularity!" said Tamao defensively.

"So why the sudden jealousy streak?" asked Jun, cocking an eyebrow. "And... YOUR Yoh? You've never said that before."

Anna blushed. She BLUSHED.

All right, kiddies! Get out your colored pencils and find a decent picture of Anna Kyoyama to ruin. Okay, now, color some red around her cheeks and over her nose. That's what Anna looks like blushing. Hard to believe, huh?

Once the color drained from Anna's face (which didn't take too long, considering that... Oh, maybe because she was Anna?), she scolded the three again.

"So?" she shot at them, as if daring them to comment back.

"So we haven't been doing anything to your fiancee," concluded Pirika. "Now can we please get out of here? I have to beat some sense into my idiot brother again."

"I have to beat some sense into my FUTURE HUSBAND. But do we all get what we want? NOOOO. So just live with it, missy!" said Anna, becoming furious.

"But... why aren't you letting us out of the kitchen?" asked Tamao.

"Didn't you read the title, ditz? It says Pudding Fight."

There was a very awkward silence, in which all the girls either glared at each other or stared into space, thinking of what it would be like if they upheld the author's wishes. Which they shall...

Nobody knew who threw the first food item, but the great War of the Women began.

Pirika leapt onto Jun's back, pulling the Chinese girl's hair until she screamed. Tamao stood there, confuzzled. Anna picked up some fine China plates, and started to throw them like frisbees at the others.

Jun managed to pull the Ainu off of her, flipping Pirika over her back and onto the table.

"EEE!" screamed Pirika.

Tamao had managed to dodge the plates, and was now crawling on her hands and knees over some shards of the table-ware. This did not prevent Anna from pulling the pink-head up by the collar and punching her repeatedly in the jaw.

"Ow!" shouted Tamao, stumbling back to the refrigirator. She opened it and threw some oranges at Anna.

The other two gasped as an orange hit Anna in the forehead, causing her to fall on her back in pain. Raw, orange-induced pain!

"Why I oughta..." mumbled the itako, trembling with rage. But she stayed down, because that is important to the plot.

Anyway, Jun slapped Tamao across the face, Pirika pulled Jun into a head-lock, and Tamao kicked Pirika in the shins.

"ARGH!" screamed Anna, jumping into the fray.

At this time, Yoh had gotten hungry, so he decided to get something to eat. So, of course, he went into the kitchen.

Now, if Yoh were just a little bit smarter, and hadn't had his headphones on to maximum volume, he would've heard the screams of rage and pain. But, God, Buddha, nor Vishnu blessed the Shaman with any brains.

You'd have to imagine his surprise when he walked through that door. His eyes widened as a certain blond threw pudding into a certain Chinese girl's eyes.

"I'M BLIND!" screamed Jun, gripping at her eyes.

And he sorta smiled as a certain pink-haired girl ripped a certain Ainu's clothes...

"That's so indecent!" shouted Pirika, pulling her top together to prevent any unnecessary cleavage from showing.

Suddenly, a wave of pudding erupted from the fridge as Jun stumbled back to it, still gripping her eyes in pain, causing all the girls to be covered in the dessert.

"Oooh..." said Yoh, raising his eyebrows. "This is getting interesting..."

With that, Anna beat Pirika with a stick, Jun was still stumbling around blindly, and Tamao was recovering from a blow to the head from Pirika.

Yoh found a tortilla chip and dipped it in a bit of pudding. "Hmm... Salty, and sweet! I like it!"

Pirika ripped Anna's bandanna off. Anna 'accidentilly' sweep-kicked Jun, making her fall on top of Tamao ungracefully.

Lyserg opened the door, then closed it after he saw what was going on in the kitchen. No way he'd become part of that madness. Because he was Lyserg, and I suppose he doesn't do that kind of stuff.

Does he?

Jun grabbed onto the nearest thing she could get her hands on... Which happened to be Yoh's leg.

"WAAAAH!" screamed Yoh, getting pulled into the melee.

Anna tossed Pirika across the room. A crash resounded from the far side of the battle-field, as Pirika had smashed into the sink.

Yoh was being violently throttled by the elder Tao. Poor Yoh, huh? Must suck to be him right now.

Tamao squeezed some orange juice into Anna's right eye.

"GAH! It's BUUURRRNS!" screamed Anna.

SMACK!!!

Anna slapped Tamao. Tamao fell back onto the table, completely deprived of any energy whatsoever after the feud.

Jun finally passed out, unable to see and not really wanting to work herself overboard. Yoh, hyperventillating, crawled away from her like a hurt little puppy. He was even whimpering pathetically.

Several moans came from the girls. The sink was running, and water had flooded the counter. Pudding still dripped off of the walls and cabinets, even the participants in the fight.

"It's... not... over yet..." panted Anna, cracking her neck. She then fainted, unable to cope with the loss of energy that came with winning the battle.

Yoh made his way out the door, still crawling. Pudding soaked and cold, he immediately went for the shower.

-Dinner that night-

Nobody seemed to notice the various things wrong with the kitchen as they ate their meal. For one, HoroHoro and Ren were using Tamao as a subsitute for dinner mats. The sink was still running, and about a foot of water was on the floor now, mixed with the pudding. Anna was face up in the water, sleeping peacefully. Jun was on a pile of oranges, breathing softly in her sleep.

"What'd they do in here?" asked Manta, looking around. "Looks like a war was held."

"Technically, it was," said Yoh, sighing.

"What's wrong? I thought you'd be happy that Anna was out of it for dinner," said Manta.

"...Yeah..." said Yoh. "It's just... It's really gonna be hard to clean up when she DOES wake up..."

-Outside-

A certain Yoh lookalike laughed gleefully at the chaos he had caused inside the Asakura residence that day.

"Such wonder! Such bliss!" he cooed pervertedly. "Plus..." He held up several pictures of the girls pulling hair or slapping each other. "These pics'll make great editions for my web page! Being a pimp rocks...

"Hi-hoe, Spirit of Fire! Away!" said Hao as he rode off into the sunset astride Spirit of Fire.

The End

But, since I hate to end it so soon...

Anna did indeed wake up, and Yoh was forced to clean the entire kitchen without the help of anyone.

Lyserg lived happily until he went to the doctor one day. He learned that he had lung cancer, and only had five months to live. Poooor Lyserg...

...Turns out, Morphine's the cause of it.

Ren and Horo fought some more, then spontaneously combusted, but both survived.

Jun recovered from her pudding injuries, but had permanent corneal damage. shows a pic of Jun with large, horn-rimmed glasses as the others laugh at her Hehe...

Tamao died two days later, because of brain damage. Oh well.

Pirika lived on to write the story of the War of the Women...

...It's number one on Amazon's top 'hundred list.

It turns out that Amidamaru was the cause of the pudding, and he was later sentenced to five days in 'human ball' mode. How embarrassing.

Hao lived to tell the tale of how he managed to make the girls of Shaman King fight in a very sexy, yet awkward way.

Five days later, he was brutally slaughtered in a freak lawn-mower accident. His legacy lives on...

Manta publically published the Mantannian Dictionary, but all copies were burned on the Asakura's doorstep. Why?

And what of Yoh, you ask? Well...

"We love you Yoh," said a bunch of skeletons in eerie unison. "We love you Yoh. We love you Yoh."

"AAAAAH! It burns us, Precious!" screamed Yoh, looking away in pain.

"Aaah..." sighed Faust VIII, happy to be torturing the one who ruined his research on stunted growth. "Revenge is a bitter-sweet thing... Wouldn't you agree, Eliza?"

The skeleton nodded, and they both laughed happily.

The REAL End. For Real.

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A/N: If that offended you in any way... Please stop wasting your time. I don't listen to flames, or any 'your fic is so stupid' crap. And, if it seemed perverted... Well, it's supposed to be. It's actually a parody of the Budweiser catfight commercial from the Super Bowl.


End file.
